I ended up living 1500 km away from some of my closest friends. While we meet and catch-up when I am back, it is usually only for a couple of hours once in a blue moon. And it’s not enough. I love my friends and I don’t want friendships to fade away. Oh, and they are as nuts as I am. Sooooo. Once a year we travel together to explore a new place and for me, it’s also the exploration of a friendship. In a way, it’s a litmus test to see who I became, who they became, how we together and separately changed.

We pick a country, we come over and we spend 3-4 days together. No interruptions, no boyfriends, husbands or whatever other attachments. Just staying still or rather curious with the friends. It is difficult for so many reasons.

Leaving the world behind is difficult. I am used to spending time with my husband and not having him around, not being able to talk and reflect immediatelly was a challenge initially. But the more we grew together and the more I travel, the easier it gets. I absolutely adore my husband but I cherish the moments when I am just me. The way I look at it, I get new stories, I get to reflect and explore my own identity without mudying with needs and wishes of this partnership. Spending time with my friends allows me to understand me better and actually compare and contrast of who I am and how much I am changing.

Staying still, reflecting on changes and actually accepting them is difficult. My friends are my best mirrors, they sugar coat a bit but they still call me out on my bullshit; when I am sitting way too high on my high horse. Because of the time spent with them, I can see how much I changed in a relatively short time. Because of them, I learned that I finally give more space for people. While there is a road to go, I am getting better. I undestand my values better because of the ladies and I know that I will (respectfully) fight for them until the end. And actually, because of time with them, I actually re-evaluate my relationship with my husband. My husband is my only partner and the only way I can actually understand what is working and not working is talking through that with the friends. However, none of these conversations or discoveries are easy.

The more time you spend the friends, the more barriers are broken. Not only the ones that allow you to open up, but also the ones that maintain a polite facade and avoid icy areas. As all of us are changing, time together allows to inspect changes but also lifts the current for any differences that we have. With politness gone, barriers wide open and women who are passionate about their lives, once in a while we end up in a dangerous territory where we are testing friendship and in a way oureslves. The voices and ideas get strong, conversations become difficult and once in a while uncomfortable.

However, through discomfort we grow closer and understand each other better. Through exploration of the place, we explore each other. A new places forces us to be more open, gives a safe space to be us. Sometimes maybe even too much of us. There are moments where we forget that other people are not like us; I know I definitely do. And because of that, there are touches of discomfort. But through discomfort, I can learn and grow. I can share the most intimate and secret parts of me with friends, I can share my worries and fears about myself, about my partner, about my future. I get to learn about their successes, celebrations, fears and worries. And together we become stronger. As we grow, as we grow different, I know I will cherish those differences no matter what. They are my tribe. And no one said that everyone is the same in the tribe.